ATTJC - Epilogue

Was I dead, was the first thing that came to my mind. But the very fact that I was able to ask that question convinced me that I wasn’t. Then I felt a heavy furry body on top of my own – immobile. And then came the jabs of pain from my right shoulder. I tried to move my right hand but couldn’t. I felt my shoulder with the left hand and found that it was dislocated. It was still raining but the Cannibal’s fur was proving to be a warm blanket. It was too painful to stay awake so I drifted off to sleep again.

The next time I woke up the sun was up and the rain had stopped. My right shoulder was still hurting a lot. And then for the first time I took full stock of the situation. The cannibal lay there on top of me – dead. I had managed to shoot right into his open jaws. The bullet had penetrated the soft skin and went straight for his brain. His death must have been instantaneous. He had then collided with the rifle and my right shoulder had taken the full brunt of his weight and was lying by my side. With some difficulty and not without any lack of pain, I managed to ease myself from under his body and stood up. I picked up my rifle in my left hand and put into his inert form the rest of the magazine. Then I walked towards the nearest village and as I reached it I collapsed again due to exhaustion.

- O -

This time when I woke up, I saw Radha sitting near the foot of my bed. There was somebody sitting near my head. I craned my neck, to see that it was Janaki aunty. She had a hand on my forehead and I felt the wet cloth under her hand. Apparently I had run up a fever. “Go tell your father in law that Mila has woken up.” she told Radha.

Radha nodded and went out. In a few moments she re entered my room accompanied by the Headman. He wasn’t bare headed – he wore his Pagdi and that put a smile on my face. “So you know.” I asked him.

“I must say you had me a little worried there for a while. When you didn’t come back in the evening that day, I started to get worried. By midnight, I had already decided to form a search party and start at the first light. I had a bit of persuasion to do, of course, to ready the men. But when they saw I was to lead them, they were assured a bit. So, we started looking for you in the morning. And after a while we heard gun shots coming in from the east. We hurried towards the direction of the sound. As we kept heading east we smelled some rotten flesh and made for it. There we saw the Cannibal lying dead along with a farmer from one of the villages.” There was an involuntary frown on his face at the mention of the man. “Besides him lay your bag. And then we saw your foot marks. The soil was soft because of the rain. We followed them and found you lying unconscious just outside Palanpur.” He answered in full detail.

“Palanpur?”

“Oh,” he smiled, “Village 20 for you.” I smiled as well. “Now, you need some more rest so I won’t bother you anymore. I was just anxious for you to wake up and wanted to see you once. Rest well; you deserve every bit of it.”

I nodded and drifted off again. It took me 3 days to fully recover from the bout of pneumonia I had contracted due to that night’s exertions. As soon as I had recovered I learned the full extent of what I had done. There were endless queues of people wanting to see me and thank me. After I had accepted their hospitality for a few more days, I expressed to the Headman my desire to leave as soon as possible. Aaji must be getting worried, I told him. He asked me not to worry on that front as he had informed her of the happenings by sending a letter. But, he understood I needed to go back.

On the next day, a government jeep was waiting for me at the doorstep. I had noticed that the doors were not closed these days. The Headman himself accompanied by Radha and Janaki aunty personally saw me off.

“I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for my people.” He said to me.

“You don’t need to thank me. You know full well why I had come here.”

“I know. But that wasn’t the only reason you stayed on. If it was so, your conscience would not have troubled you so much.”

I nodded meekly. “I also wanted to thank you for showing faith in my abilities. Because frankly even I doubted myself.”

“All very formal, aren’t we?” He laughed heartily. “Frankly though, I hadn’t much idea about your abilities. But I could see sincerity in you. You knew what you had to say was crazy, but you still said it. You had the conviction to say it. You believed in it and you were ready to face the consequences. You were ready to do your best. You knew you had made a mistake but instead of shying away from responsibility you faced up to it and were ready to make up for it. And you were brave. That is all I could ask of anybody. If I didn’t back such people up, there is no point in me staying on as a leader.”

“But, what if I had failed? You would have lost your pride. How could you believe so much in me especially when I had made a terrible mistake? And you had just lost your friend because of it!”

“Oh, so you know about it? I should have guessed it. Nothing spreads like gossip, not even plague.” He was in high spirits. “My pride doesn’t come from wearing some headgear. It comes from having people like you and Naren by my side. And your father as well. All those who were willing to take great risks because I asked them to. All those who stood by me in good times or bad. I don’t care if I didn’t wear my Pagdi again. But I do care about backing up the people like the ones I mentioned. And as far as losing Naren is concerned, his death made you a better person. And so, he would probably have considered it worthwhile.”

I couldn’t find anything appropriate to say. I again just nodded. I touched his and Janaki aunty’s feet to take their blessings; said good bye to Radha and sat myself in the jeep.

- O -

When I finally reached home, Aaji was so proud of me. She said she would take me out for an ice cream later in the evening. She said, “You are the bravest girl I have known, no kidding.” I smiled at her and hugged her.

That day I ate a Vanilla and a Mango and then had some of the butterscotch we had ordered for Aaji. And then I slept proud and contented. I knew my father would be proud, too.